how a child learns

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, she learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame, she learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement, she learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, she learns justice.

If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval, she learns to like herself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.

(Dorothy Law Nolte)

- quoted from adrian's blog

It's never too late for us to learn all these... and it is actually quite easy to provide others with the above... for them to learn..

why do it?

There are a few reasons why we do the things we do.. and we do them because either

• we can
• or, we need to
• or, we want
• or, we feel like

There is no right or wrong in any of these reasons. Just go with the flow and go all the way and do it.. Just don't do it half-f***ed/half-heartedly :o

missing worry

A few photos from thursday :o





... gotta prepare to go out to help my mom buy 4d and go for my tuition session at 3 :s and i'm going to do waitoring again tonight... going to bring a few plastic bags just in case..... :p

you can come out now~

for the 4 of us, this is only one quarter of what we ate........... kidding!! :p

"If nothing happen on this bed, don't blame us"
... haha... think it's a nice advert..

If you have things to hide, you should be prepared that it will be out in the open some day. There is no point in getting angry/irritated/sad over anything being exposed.

summarized behavior

"You will, as a society, always be inhibited about that over which you are embarrassed; always be dysfunctional with behaviors which have been repressed, and always act out violently in protest of being made to feel shame about that over which you know in your heart you should never have felt shame at all."
-quoted...

give and ye shall receive~

"Everything you do, do out of sincerity, or the benefit of the action is lost. 'How can the mind add sincerity when it does not 'believe in' what the body is doing?' By taking out the selfish element of personal gain. Whatever you choose for yourself, give to another. If you choose to be happy, cause another to be happy. If you choose to be prosperous, cause another to prosper. If you choose more love in your life, cause another to have more love in theirs. Do this sincerely - not because you seek personal gain, but because you really want the other person to have that - and all the things you give away will come to you. The very act of your giving something away causes you to experience that you have it to give away. Since you cannot give to another something you do not have, your mind comes to a new conclusion, a New Thought, about you - namely, that you must have this, or you could not be giving it away." - quoted :o

back :o

"So long as you are still worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them.
Only when you require no approval from outside yourself can you own yourself.

It is not nearly so important how well a message is received as how well it is sent.

Fear and caution are two different things. Be cautious - be conscious - but do not be fearful. For fear only paralyzes, while consciousness mobilizes.


For love chooses naught for itself, but only seeks to make possible the choices of the beloved other.

What is 'best' depends on who you are, and who you seek to be. You cannot intelligently choose what is best for you until you intelligently decide who and what you are."
-Quoted from "Conversations with God - Book 3"

pestilence

I remember that... Most of the time, I'll get the impression from some friends that they think I'm weird, that they don't want to hang out with me because I'm not fun.. I think that it's just that I don't feel comfortable with them ba..

This should not... will not matter.. What matters is that I accept myself :o .. If I don't like myself like this, then I have to change... Actually, I've always thought that I'm not fun to be around with.. And this issue has always returned to plague me.. Maybe I'm always given the chance to do something to change how I feel towards this... .. It's difficult.. But it's not impossible :o

work work

I remembered what it means by a hard day's work after my waitoring stint yesterday... :s I don't feel good working in that environment, because of a few factors. I always take a lot of initiative in helping out and i don't expect others to behave in the same way. But after a few times of looking at the behavior of some staff over there, I just don't feel good. And it's not a matter of comparing who does more or who does less... Hmmm.. Nevermind... ... for the money :o

anyway..... another colleague said i looked one or two years younger than him :o ..... when he's only 21... :p haha... .... I thought he was around 26 or 27 years old.... :6

no payback expectations

I will do things because i feel like it.. Not because i want something back from external parties :o

even if

I was listening to this song on my mp3 player when this part of the chorus caught my ears and... touched me.. I thought it was rather sweet..

Even If (2 Be 3) - 2 Be 3

"Even if the sun refused to shine
Even if we lived in different times
Even if the ocean left the sea
There will still be you and me"
-"Even If" by 2 be 3.

tuesday and office day

All the photos in this first part of the entry were taken on tuesday.

After swimming, i camwhored on the train with dayv... :p




Maybe I'll go out like this someday.. think it looks quite nice.. :p



David helped rid the world of a few dozen flies by killing this one. Apparently, this one was pregnant as a few dozen maggots were squeezed out of it... :s


I don't think I will go back to watch RA shows again... :s



Daniel's bday was on weds so he treated us to zi char.... thank you again :o


They were trying to mimic my actions..... :/





Anyway, as i had to go for a casting in office wear this morning, i jioed my friends to go out in office wear too. In the end, only jim and dayv did. just, sy and sky didn't... :s




.... Finally, I finished the sp plan and sent it to ly just now... Been procrastinating a lot for that.... :s

timing is important.... so what? :p

I just got home from waitoring with dayv and tay :o ... This is our 2nd time working as there was an event tonight. A few of our colleagues over there thought that i'm dayv's brother and that I'm only one year older than him.. which is 21 :o .... :p


.... I feel I must appreciate everything... no matter whether it comes relatively early or later :o

thank you :o

• heyy~
• hey jude, don't make it bad. take a a sad song, and make it better.....
• loves it :o
• love ya bitch :o

I wasn't really feeling very good this morning, but i was kinda cheered up by David when he did his usual thing... :p haha... He has a lot more catch phrases, but I can't really remember the rest.. It might be kinda irritating at the start, but i think these kind of expressions are kinda growing on me... Loves it! :p

weird weird de... :p

First time i've ever spent a "sunless" day over at Sentosa but i enjoyed myself :o

Is that my hand??

Wowz! Check out the guy in yellow singlet behind us :p ... haha..

No offence meant towards anybody :o

I support everybody in accepting their feelings, no matter bad or good. Denying them will mean going against the flow, and it is tougher going against the flow

Whenever you meet with whatever you don't want to change, or whatever you can't change, just accept them. The situation will be like that, no matter whether you feel good or bad.

emo lemos... :s

I saw this paragraph on my friend, jeremy's blog and i kinda shared his feelings/thoughts about people who are always emo, or who always put emo nicks on their msn shoutouts. Anyway, the following paragraph might have some...... profanities (can't think of a better term :/ ), so if you are not comfortable in seeing any, please skip this blog entry.

"I notice an acquaintance on MSN who has only 1 kind of MSN nicks: the FUCKING EMO BEYOND HOPE kind.
I don’t want to be mean, but honestly this is the kind of emo that annoys people a lot; I don’t even need to talk to him to feel totally turned off.
An example of a nick: “U are not deserved to love anymore. *****,wake up. U are idiot,really is a idiot!!!”
Like I said, I have no intention to be nasty or nosy because I can’t be bothered, but every nick from this person so far has been along these lines. In fact, I dare say some of you might even know him…
Firstly, you keep telling yourself to wake up, so please fucking wake up the right way. Wallowing in the worsest of self-pity doesn’t gain anyone’s sympathy, neither does it help you get the person you’re interested in. I know this pretty sure myself. (let’s just say I had my fair share of despondency, though not this exaggerated or annoyingly loud)
Secondly, if you think that the uber-ridiculously-fucking-emo image is going to gain you some awwww-points and hitch you a nice person, you are way too deluded I wouldn’t even want to smack you awake. Tell me, would any person in the right of mind want to get newly attached to a depressed soul? It would mean endless baby-sitting, psychological counselling, and double the emotional work since emo-you has spent all your time being emo and is incapable of understanding and acting on the emotional needs of a relationship. In this case, seeing a shrink (or psychologist if you don’t know what’s a shrink) would be far more beneficial than getting attached.
Thirdly, as long as you remain like that, you will constantly view everything in the saddest way possible. Ever wondered why no job seems to suit you that you need to keep looking for a new job? Have you thought about why you feel so empty inside, and you always ache terribly when someone you have an interest in dates someone else or even gets attached? Did you consider the real root of your depression? Obviously not, not when you fail to realise that YOU are your problem.
If you’re not even contented with you yourself, no one else but you, a single you, there’s no way you can have the determination to get through life’s daily struggles. A relationship involves two people who are primarily mature enough to be self-sufficient and confident, secondarily able to communicate, understand, and compromise with each other with great magnanimity, thirdly able to actively provide positivity and mutuality to fuel and strengthen the relationship in the long-term. Honestly, happiness in a relationship is 2-way, not solely one party constantly feeding the deficiencies of the other. It is true that people tend to go for someone who is humble yet self-confident, because these people know their limits and capabilities and how to achieve their highest potential, and hence these people are more “fun” to be with.
At the end of the day, my point is that you need to learn to love yourself first and foremost before you even consider venturing out to the world of relationships. Relationships require much more than what you usually give yourself.
I quote from an email a friend sent me:
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression “the labor of love.” Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage/relationship work.
Hey *****, how do you feed a relationship when you can’t even feed yourself first?"
-quoted from jeremy's blog.

dunno what you want? don't fret :o ... :p

Some people do not know what they want... It might be due to them, always trying to measure up to what others want from them.. neglecting to find out what they really want for themselves..

But don't worry.. I have some tips :p

1. Take what others say as opinions, not suggestions or orders to be followed..
2. Be aware of what you feel towards different activities, people, things, behavior, etc..
3. Keep "wanting" whatever that makes you feel good

Take note though... Everything changes, even wants.. So you have to always be aware of your feelings.

good food

When I'm alone walking around, I'm less willing to buy food/snacks that i want to eat.. Because I wanna share food I like with people I like.. The food will taste more..... tasty.. :p There will be a lesser chance of me growing fat, while i can taste a greater variety of food :o .... :p

man in the mirror

are you with the right person?

This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learn something from here...
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage...

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make"
love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

Remember this always:

"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."

your time

In an article of today's Straits Times, on page A2, the writer was explaining why she wasn't crazy running an 84km ultra marathon. There was this sentence that caught my eye. "And in a life where so much time is devoted to pleasing others and meeting deadlines, running is my time to myself."
.... Do you have any time to yourself? ... You should spend most, if not all, of your time taking care of your own needs (not wants). You should... because you are the most important person in Your life :o

too close for comfort?

If i was given a choice between comfort and closeness, i would rather other people to be comfortable with me, and vice versa...






haha... :p


I treat people how i would treat myself........ and I love it :o ... :6

bad slug... begone! *poof*

... It's super rare... When bad things come across my path and i want to handle them, but i can't... I'll be in a very sluggish mode... I don't want to move... I'll just stay quite still for some time...
... I cannot be like this... I don't want to be like this.. I will not be like this...

relic-gion?

"Return to spirituality. Forget about religion.

Because it is not good for you. Understand that in order for organized religion to succeed, it has to make people believe they need it. In order for people to put faith in something else, they must lose faith in themselves. So the first task of organized religion is to make you lose faith in yourself. The second task is to make you see that it has the answers you do not. And the third and most important task is to make you accept its answers without questions.
If you question, you start to think! If you think, you start to go back to that Source Within. Religion can't have you do that, because you're liable to come up with an answer different from what it has contrived. So religion must make you doubt your Self; must make you doubt your own ability to think straight.
The problem for religion is that very often this backfires - for if you cannot accept without doubt your own thoughts, how can you not doubt the new ideas about God which religion has given you?
Pretty soon, you even doubt My existence - which, ironically, you never doubted before. When you were living by your intuitive knowing, you may not have had Me all figured out, but you definitely knew I was there!
It is religion which has created agnostics.
Any clear thinker who looks at what religion has done must assume religion has no God! For it is religion which has filled the hearts of men with fear of God, where once man loved That Which Is in all its splendor.
It is religion which has ordered men to bow down before God, where once man rose up in joyful outreach.
It is religion which has burdened man with worries about God's wrath, where once man sought God to lighten his burden!
It is religion which told man to be ashamed of his body and its most natural functions, where once man celebrated those functions as the greatest gifts of life!
It is religion which taught you that you must have an intermediary in order to reach God, where once you thought yourself to be reaching God by the simple living of your life in goodness and in truth.
And it is religion which commanded humans to adore God, where once humans adored God because it was impossible not to!
Everywhere religion has gone it has created disunity - which is the opposite of God.

-last quote from "Conversations With God - Book Two"

agnostic

1. a person who holds that the existence of the ultimate cause, as God, and the essential nature of things are unknown and unknowable, or that human knowledge is limited to experience.
2. a person who denies or doubts the possibility of ultimate knowledge in some area of study
   

matter of choice again

"Which means that in this, as in all things, what you think is what you get.
What you fear is what you will draw to you.
What you resists, persists.
What you look at disappears - giving you a chance to recreate it all over again, if you wish, or banish it forever from your experience.
What you choose, you experience."
-quote quote :o

what will you do?

Once, there were 3 people who fell into 3 different holes of the same height with the same conditions. And they all want to get out.
One kept lamenting why it happened.
One just gave up and resigned to his fate.
While the last one.... took out his handphone and called for help.

Who would you like to be? Keep in mind that they all wanted to get out...

... The third person's actions were a bit diaongz right? .... :p haha...

ran-blings

I didn't know that sun tanning actually requires a lot of knowledge. To make sure you get an even tan, you must make sure your neck gets the sun, and you do this by tilting your head backwards when you lie on your back. You should also lie on your sides.... :s Anyone else has other tips?


Everybody see things in a different way. Everybody. Different. Expose yourself to something that you've never seen before... See how you feel. Do not assume that your feelings would definitely be the same as others'. Take note of how you feel (not think) towards different things, different people, different situations...


There will always be influences from the environment, from other people, or from your past experiences.. But ultimately, only you have the power to choose what to think, what to do...


I learnt a few things from the shoot today..

1. Don't be too tensed, shoulders must be relaxed.
2. Your body pose must match the expression on your face.
3. Cannot smile half-f**

I think i saw the small dipper or the big dipper in the sky tonight :)

be envious

"Envy is a natural emotion urging you to strive to be more. It is the two-year-old child yearning and urging herself to reach that doorknob which her big brother can reach. There is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with envy. It is a motivator. It is pure desire. It gives birth to greatness.
Jealousy, on the other hand, is a fear-driven emotion making one willing for the other to have less. It is an emotion often based in bitterness. It proceeds from anger and leads to anger. And it kills. Jealousy can kill. Anyone who's been in a jealous triangle knows that.
Jealousy kills, envy gives birth.
Those who are envious will be given every opportunity to succeed in their own way. No one will be held back economically, politically, socially. Not by reason of race, gender or sexual orientation. Not by reason of birth, class status or age. Nor for any reason at all."
-quoted and quoted and quoted.....

important?

You might think that getting what you want will make you feel better... think again... If you have 4 minutes to spare, read through this report :o

http://www.rochester.edu/news/show.php?id=3377

different struggles

"A "better life" is not created by the accumulation of things. Most of you know this, all of you say you understand it, yet your lives - and the decisions you make which drive your lives - have as much to do with "things" as anything else, and usually more.
You strive for things, you work for things, and when you get some of the things you want, you never let them go.

Because your present incentive for greatness has to do with accumulation of all the world has to offer, all of the world is in various stages of struggle. Enormous portions of the population are still struggling for simple physical survival. Each day is filled with anxious moments, desperate measures. The mind is concerned with basic. vital questions. Will there be enough food? Is shelter available? Will we be warm? Enormous numbers of people are still concerned with these matters daily. Thousands die each month for lack of food alone.
Smaller numbers of people are able to reasonably rely on the basics of survival appearing in their lives, but struggle to provide something more - a modicum of security, a modest but decent home, a better tommorow. They work hard, they fret about how and whether they'll ever "get ahead." The mind is concerned with urgent, worrisome questions.
By far the smallest number of people have all they could ever ask for - indeed, everything the other two groups are asking for - but interestingly, many in this last group are still asking for more.
Their minds are concerned with holding on to all that they have acquired and increasing their holdings.
Now, in addition to these three groups, there is a fourth. It is the smallest group of all. In fact, it is tiny.
This group has detached itself from the need for material things. It is concerned with spiritual truth, spiritual reality, and spiritual experience.
The people in this group see life as a spiritual encounter - a journey of the soul. They respond to all human events within that context. They hold all human experience within that paradigm. Their struggle has to do with the search for God, the fufillment of Self, the expression of truth.
As they evolve, this struggle becomes not a struggle at all, but a process. It is a process of Self-definition (not self-discovery), of Growth (not learning), of Being (not doing).
The reason for seeking, striving, searching, stretching, and succeeding becomes completely different. The reason for doing anything is changed, and with it the doer is likewise changed. The reason becomes the process, and the doer becomes a be-er."
-quoted :o

now now

I will believe in anything as long as it makes me feel better now...... Anyway, now means now.. as in now always :o


I have been visiting this shop at Tampines 1 ever since I was transferred to the site at Tampines Bus Interchange since tuesday. It has small mini cakes, interesting and super cute tidbits.

how to make someone cool

If you don't really know what to say to an angry person, or if most of the times, you tend to aggravate the person even more, and you would like the person not to get even angrier, you could try out these few tips and see whether it works for you...

Try to keep from saying these 5 phrases to someone who is angry..

Calm down: Most of the times, when we see someone being angry, upset, or in a heightened emotional state, we will say "calm down!" This phrase, to most, insinuates that the person has no legitimate reason to be upset or emotional. So most often, the person will become more upset and he will spend more time defending his reason for being upset in the first place, which just amplifies his frustration or anger. Instead, you can try phrases like, "I see you're upset, is there anything I can do to help?" Remember, conflicts are never resolved when the person is still upset.

What do you want me to do about it: When we say this, it is telling others that we're not going to help them and it's not our problem. It also infers that we don't care and others might even think that we're hinting that they are unreasonable for expecting us to help them. Instead, you can try phrases like, " How can i help?" or "Is there anything I can do to help?" If we are in any way to blame for what happened, apologise... with sincerity.

Grow up or Be rational: These have the same effect as saying "Stop acting so childishly" and "You're an idiot!" At that particular moment when he is angry or upset, that person feels justified in feeling the way he feels, and calling him "childish" will worsen the situation. Instead, try saying in a concerned voice:"Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" or "What's wrong?" These phrases will help pacify the person's emotions, allowing him to settle down.

What's your problem: This phrase - usually accompanied by an offensive tone, a facial expression that screams "disdain" towards the other person and an emphasis on the word "your" - immediately sets up a "me versus you" dynamic. The other problem is that this phrase points to the other person as the source of whatever is wrong, which almost always leads to that person feeling the need to defend himself. Instead, try using, "What's wrong?" or "What's the matter?" These phrases communicate empathy and concern and will help the person begin to deal with the problem without provoking him.

But: Do not follow any of the above-suggested phrases with "but". This negates the previous statement, causing people to both disregard the previous statement and to interpret whatever is coming next as negative. Substituting "and" for "but" will make you much more effective.

When you use these phrases while looking people in the eye with a calm expression and a disarming tone - and keep "but" out of harm's way - you will be able to effectively cool people down when things get hot.

--- paraphrased from today's Strait's Times

A bit of cam-whoring at the new building beside somerset MRT.

E. Honda taught me this skill :o