synergy

I went to Sentosa with mj today :o I was thinking of whether to spend the day alone... but i think having some company would be good... :p


mj trying to catch tiny fishes which were swimming near to the shore :p
We walked to the furthest end of Tanjung Beach. But there weren't many people at the beach today... We could use our fingers to count the total number of people who were there.


Our stuff which we placed on some newspapers because we didn't have a mat :p
Shadow pictures.











Think my tan rocks :p felt a bit sad because no one took any photos of me... .. . :p

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Even for couples, where the dream might be all trust, emotional security, a letting-go in love, oh, what fears! What doubts! " If i do this, what will he believe or say? If i undertake to do this, what will she think? I must do this or that; otherwise they will be sad, angry, disappointed, etc." So many behaviors are guided, not by the joy of loving but by the fear of no longer being loved, not out of the joy of giving but out of the fear of not receiving in return. I buy love. I buy belonging. It isn't a generous exchange of love in a spirit of abundance; it's more in the spirit of a subsistence economy.
Many live in relationships governed by projection and dependence:" I cannot live alone. If you go, i die; you die if i go. I lean on you; you are the father ( or mother) i didn't have. I am the child you need to smother with all the care you yourself did not receive. I expect you to protect me and reassure me eternally; you expect to be able to comfort me eternally. Together, we attempt to fill up our gaps and voids, insatiably."
It seems to me that very few people living as couples are truely in a person-to-person relationship, a relationship of responsibility, autonomy, and freedom where each party feels the strength and confidence to say," I am capable of living and finding joy without you, you are capable of living and finding joy without me. We, you and i, both have this strength and autonomy, and at the same time we love being together because it's even more joyful to share, to exchange, and be together. We don't strive to fill up the gaps, but to exchange plentitude!" Sometimes this state of being is called synergism - where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Also evoked here are the "pearls" of wisdom from Gestalt co-founder Fritz Perls of Germany who wrote:

I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations.
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and i am i.
And if perchance we find each other,
It's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.

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Quoted from "Being Genuine - Stop Being Nice, Start Being Real"