You will only know what is what if you know too, what is not. e.g. You will only know what's good when you've experienced bad.. You will only know what's tall when you've experienced short.. You will not know both sides exist if you've always only seen one side..
Now i know something and I don't like it because I don't feel good about it. I will use this knowledge to remind myself...
I didn't know that i can run around 17km without stopping.. and i didn't know that it was going to be so super tough after that. My legs had cramps and i couldn't run for quite some time. I spent almost 50% of the time after that walking, so i took around 6 hrs to complete the race... :p I don't think/feel that i will run another marathon anytime soon.... :/ 1 km sounds a lot easier than to run it... :s
Adrian introduced me to this shop at bugis, 福禄寿, where i can have photos of my aura taken. Ever since then, which is around the end of march, I took another two more. The latest one, which is the most bottom photo, was taken tonight.
The shop aunty will ask you whether you would like to have your analysis of your aura printed in english or chinese, then you just have to sit down on a chair, put both your hands onto 2 separate devices on the sides, and get ready to have your photo taken. The whole process will only take around 1 minute and it costs $5. And if you want, you could also ask the lady to explain what the different colours mean.
First time I've ever tasted this kind of grapes :o They had a bit of wine-y flavour.. tasted not bad :o
I know now :o The reason why i am not feeling good, is because I had nothing to think about and felt kinda lost... meaning, I only chose to think about @#$%! only, and chose not to think about anything else, and because there's no @#$%! for me to think about. So, now, I will choose not to think about @#$%! and choose to think about other things.... Jia you :o
" But the reason your relationships are in such a mess is that you're always trying to figure out what the other person wants and what other people want - instead of what you truly want.
[When is it disempowering to offer help? When does it work against, rather than for, another's growth? When your help is offered in such a way that it creates continued dependence, rather than rapid independence. When you allow another, in the name of compassion, to begin to rely on you rather than rely on themselves. That is not compassion, that is compulsion. You have a power compulsion. Because that sort of helping is really power-tripping. Now this distinction can be very subtle here, and sometimes you don't even know you are power-tripping. You really believe you are simply doing your best to help another... yet be careful that you are not simply seeking to create your own self-worth. For to the extent that you allow other persons to make you responsible for them, to that extent you have allowed them to make you powerful. And that, of course, makes you feel worthy. Yet this kind of help is an aphrodisiac which seduces the weak. The goal is to help the weak grow strong, not to let the weak become weaker." -quoted :o
I've been feeling weird recently.. And i feel alone... I don't like feeling alone... I don't want to accept this feeling.. ... I will see how for the next few days.. see whether this feeling will go away...
Actually.... I think i don't know the reason for me feeling bad... It may not be due to this thing which i termed as loneliness... ... I will find out :o
" All conflict arises from misplaced desire. The only peace in all the world that is sustaining is Internal Peace. Let each person find peace within. When you find peace within, you also find that you can do without. This means simply that you no longer need the things of your outside world. "Not needing" is a great freedom. It frees you, first, fro mfear: fear that there is something you won't have; fear that there is something you have that you will lose; and fear that without a certain thing, you won't be happy. Secondly, "not needing" frees you from anger. Anger is fear pronounced. When you have nothing to fear, you have nothing over which to be angry. You are not angry when you don't get what you want, because your wanting it was simply a preference, not a necessity. You therefore have no fear associated with the possiblity of not getting it. Hence, no anger. You are not angry when you see others doing what you don't want them to do, because you don't need them to do or not do the particular thing. Hence, no anger. You are not angry when someone is unkind, because you have no need for them to be kind. You have no anger when someone is unloving, because you have no need for them to love you. You have no anger when someone is cruel, or hurtful, or seeks to damage you, for you have no need for them to behave any other way, and you are clear that you cannot be damaged. You do not even have anger should someone seek to take your life, because you do not fear death. When fear is taken from you, all else can be taken from you and you will not be angry.
Need nothing. Desire everything. Choose what shows up. Feel your feelings. Cry your cries. Laugh your laughs. Honour your truth." -quoted :o
I will be transferred to another department at LTA tommorow.. for the last week of my attachment. So, Mr Ng gave me a lunch treat :o
This is ting, who always lend me her mobile internet, who I have lunch with most of the time, who I talk to most of the time, who also helped me a lot with my attachment. Anyway, both Mr Ng and ting, are not from LTA. They didn't eat too much, so i ate most of the food, so I was sort of the "rubbish dump"... but i didn't mind :p
My brother, secretly, went to attend driving lessons since last December, and just passed his driving test today... I kind of respect him for being able to pay for the lessons himself and being able to attend them while attending school, before he graduated one or two month's back, and working part time... I will ask how he did it and i'll just follow :o
Haha.. I've been applying the magician's theory lately.. And i find it a bit amusing that i can actually change my thinking and see things in another light when i'm having any negative feelings... I don't think I'm very good with it though... yet... I will keep practising until i get better :o
Today, I was reminded of the feeling of "balls shrinking" :s I was climbing up this scaffolding and it was quite tall, around 3 to 4 metres. And there were gaps on the floor that i was at :s Too bad that my camera is with my sister today, so i couldn't take any photos :/
