You might think that getting what you want will make you feel better... think again... If you have 4 minutes to spare, read through this report :o
http://www.rochester.edu/news/show.php?id=3377
Friday, June 5, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
different struggles
"A "better life" is not created by the accumulation of things. Most of you know this, all of you say you understand it, yet your lives - and the decisions you make which drive your lives - have as much to do with "things" as anything else, and usually more.
You strive for things, you work for things, and when you get some of the things you want, you never let them go.
Because your present incentive for greatness has to do with accumulation of all the world has to offer, all of the world is in various stages of struggle. Enormous portions of the population are still struggling for simple physical survival. Each day is filled with anxious moments, desperate measures. The mind is concerned with basic. vital questions. Will there be enough food? Is shelter available? Will we be warm? Enormous numbers of people are still concerned with these matters daily. Thousands die each month for lack of food alone.
Smaller numbers of people are able to reasonably rely on the basics of survival appearing in their lives, but struggle to provide something more - a modicum of security, a modest but decent home, a better tommorow. They work hard, they fret about how and whether they'll ever "get ahead." The mind is concerned with urgent, worrisome questions.
By far the smallest number of people have all they could ever ask for - indeed, everything the other two groups are asking for - but interestingly, many in this last group are still asking for more.
Their minds are concerned with holding on to all that they have acquired and increasing their holdings.
Now, in addition to these three groups, there is a fourth. It is the smallest group of all. In fact, it is tiny.
This group has detached itself from the need for material things. It is concerned with spiritual truth, spiritual reality, and spiritual experience.
The people in this group see life as a spiritual encounter - a journey of the soul. They respond to all human events within that context. They hold all human experience within that paradigm. Their struggle has to do with the search for God, the fufillment of Self, the expression of truth.
As they evolve, this struggle becomes not a struggle at all, but a process. It is a process of Self-definition (not self-discovery), of Growth (not learning), of Being (not doing).
The reason for seeking, striving, searching, stretching, and succeeding becomes completely different. The reason for doing anything is changed, and with it the doer is likewise changed. The reason becomes the process, and the doer becomes a be-er."
-quoted :o
You strive for things, you work for things, and when you get some of the things you want, you never let them go.
Because your present incentive for greatness has to do with accumulation of all the world has to offer, all of the world is in various stages of struggle. Enormous portions of the population are still struggling for simple physical survival. Each day is filled with anxious moments, desperate measures. The mind is concerned with basic. vital questions. Will there be enough food? Is shelter available? Will we be warm? Enormous numbers of people are still concerned with these matters daily. Thousands die each month for lack of food alone.
Smaller numbers of people are able to reasonably rely on the basics of survival appearing in their lives, but struggle to provide something more - a modicum of security, a modest but decent home, a better tommorow. They work hard, they fret about how and whether they'll ever "get ahead." The mind is concerned with urgent, worrisome questions.
By far the smallest number of people have all they could ever ask for - indeed, everything the other two groups are asking for - but interestingly, many in this last group are still asking for more.
Their minds are concerned with holding on to all that they have acquired and increasing their holdings.
Now, in addition to these three groups, there is a fourth. It is the smallest group of all. In fact, it is tiny.
This group has detached itself from the need for material things. It is concerned with spiritual truth, spiritual reality, and spiritual experience.
The people in this group see life as a spiritual encounter - a journey of the soul. They respond to all human events within that context. They hold all human experience within that paradigm. Their struggle has to do with the search for God, the fufillment of Self, the expression of truth.
As they evolve, this struggle becomes not a struggle at all, but a process. It is a process of Self-definition (not self-discovery), of Growth (not learning), of Being (not doing).
The reason for seeking, striving, searching, stretching, and succeeding becomes completely different. The reason for doing anything is changed, and with it the doer is likewise changed. The reason becomes the process, and the doer becomes a be-er."
-quoted :o
now now
I will believe in anything as long as it makes me feel better now...... Anyway, now means now.. as in now always :o
I have been visiting this shop at Tampines 1 ever since I was transferred to the site at Tampines Bus Interchange since tuesday. It has small mini cakes, interesting and super cute tidbits.
I have been visiting this shop at Tampines 1 ever since I was transferred to the site at Tampines Bus Interchange since tuesday. It has small mini cakes, interesting and super cute tidbits.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
how to make someone cool
If you don't really know what to say to an angry person, or if most of the times, you tend to aggravate the person even more, and you would like the person not to get even angrier, you could try out these few tips and see whether it works for you...
Try to keep from saying these 5 phrases to someone who is angry..
Calm down: Most of the times, when we see someone being angry, upset, or in a heightened emotional state, we will say "calm down!" This phrase, to most, insinuates that the person has no legitimate reason to be upset or emotional. So most often, the person will become more upset and he will spend more time defending his reason for being upset in the first place, which just amplifies his frustration or anger. Instead, you can try phrases like, "I see you're upset, is there anything I can do to help?" Remember, conflicts are never resolved when the person is still upset.
What do you want me to do about it: When we say this, it is telling others that we're not going to help them and it's not our problem. It also infers that we don't care and others might even think that we're hinting that they are unreasonable for expecting us to help them. Instead, you can try phrases like, " How can i help?" or "Is there anything I can do to help?" If we are in any way to blame for what happened, apologise... with sincerity.
Grow up or Be rational: These have the same effect as saying "Stop acting so childishly" and "You're an idiot!" At that particular moment when he is angry or upset, that person feels justified in feeling the way he feels, and calling him "childish" will worsen the situation. Instead, try saying in a concerned voice:"Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" or "What's wrong?" These phrases will help pacify the person's emotions, allowing him to settle down.
What's your problem: This phrase - usually accompanied by an offensive tone, a facial expression that screams "disdain" towards the other person and an emphasis on the word "your" - immediately sets up a "me versus you" dynamic. The other problem is that this phrase points to the other person as the source of whatever is wrong, which almost always leads to that person feeling the need to defend himself. Instead, try using, "What's wrong?" or "What's the matter?" These phrases communicate empathy and concern and will help the person begin to deal with the problem without provoking him.
But: Do not follow any of the above-suggested phrases with "but". This negates the previous statement, causing people to both disregard the previous statement and to interpret whatever is coming next as negative. Substituting "and" for "but" will make you much more effective.
When you use these phrases while looking people in the eye with a calm expression and a disarming tone - and keep "but" out of harm's way - you will be able to effectively cool people down when things get hot.
--- paraphrased from today's Strait's Times
A bit of cam-whoring at the new building beside somerset MRT.
E. Honda taught me this skill :o
Try to keep from saying these 5 phrases to someone who is angry..
Calm down: Most of the times, when we see someone being angry, upset, or in a heightened emotional state, we will say "calm down!" This phrase, to most, insinuates that the person has no legitimate reason to be upset or emotional. So most often, the person will become more upset and he will spend more time defending his reason for being upset in the first place, which just amplifies his frustration or anger. Instead, you can try phrases like, "I see you're upset, is there anything I can do to help?" Remember, conflicts are never resolved when the person is still upset.
What do you want me to do about it: When we say this, it is telling others that we're not going to help them and it's not our problem. It also infers that we don't care and others might even think that we're hinting that they are unreasonable for expecting us to help them. Instead, you can try phrases like, " How can i help?" or "Is there anything I can do to help?" If we are in any way to blame for what happened, apologise... with sincerity.
Grow up or Be rational: These have the same effect as saying "Stop acting so childishly" and "You're an idiot!" At that particular moment when he is angry or upset, that person feels justified in feeling the way he feels, and calling him "childish" will worsen the situation. Instead, try saying in a concerned voice:"Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" or "What's wrong?" These phrases will help pacify the person's emotions, allowing him to settle down.
What's your problem: This phrase - usually accompanied by an offensive tone, a facial expression that screams "disdain" towards the other person and an emphasis on the word "your" - immediately sets up a "me versus you" dynamic. The other problem is that this phrase points to the other person as the source of whatever is wrong, which almost always leads to that person feeling the need to defend himself. Instead, try using, "What's wrong?" or "What's the matter?" These phrases communicate empathy and concern and will help the person begin to deal with the problem without provoking him.
But: Do not follow any of the above-suggested phrases with "but". This negates the previous statement, causing people to both disregard the previous statement and to interpret whatever is coming next as negative. Substituting "and" for "but" will make you much more effective.
When you use these phrases while looking people in the eye with a calm expression and a disarming tone - and keep "but" out of harm's way - you will be able to effectively cool people down when things get hot.
--- paraphrased from today's Strait's Times
A bit of cam-whoring at the new building beside somerset MRT.
E. Honda taught me this skill :o
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
stepping to the bad side~
You will only know what is what if you know too, what is not. e.g. You will only know what's good when you've experienced bad.. You will only know what's tall when you've experienced short.. You will not know both sides exist if you've always only seen one side..
Now i know something and I don't like it because I don't feel good about it. I will use this knowledge to remind myself...
Monday, June 1, 2009
shacky sundown
2 hours before running the marathon...
30 minutes after running it...
I didn't know that i can run around 17km without stopping.. and i didn't know that it was going to be so super tough after that. My legs had cramps and i couldn't run for quite some time. I spent almost 50% of the time after that walking, so i took around 6 hrs to complete the race... :p I don't think/feel that i will run another marathon anytime soon.... :/ 1 km sounds a lot easier than to run it... :s
Adrian introduced me to this shop at bugis, 福禄寿, where i can have photos of my aura taken. Ever since then, which is around the end of march, I took another two more. The latest one, which is the most bottom photo, was taken tonight.
The shop aunty will ask you whether you would like to have your analysis of your aura printed in english or chinese, then you just have to sit down on a chair, put both your hands onto 2 separate devices on the sides, and get ready to have your photo taken. The whole process will only take around 1 minute and it costs $5. And if you want, you could also ask the lady to explain what the different colours mean.
First time I've ever tasted this kind of grapes :o They had a bit of wine-y flavour.. tasted not bad :o
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
@#$%!
I know now :o The reason why i am not feeling good, is because I had nothing to think about and felt kinda lost... meaning, I only chose to think about @#$%! only, and chose not to think about anything else, and because there's no @#$%! for me to think about.
So, now, I will choose not to think about @#$%! and choose to think about other things.... Jia you :o
So, now, I will choose not to think about @#$%! and choose to think about other things.... Jia you :o
Thursday, May 28, 2009
help?
" But the reason your relationships are in such a mess is that you're always trying to figure out what the other person wants and what other people want - instead of what you truly want.
[When is it disempowering to offer help? When does it work against, rather than for, another's growth?
When your help is offered in such a way that it creates continued dependence, rather than rapid independence.
When you allow another, in the name of compassion, to begin to rely on you rather than rely on themselves. That is not compassion, that is compulsion. You have a power compulsion. Because that sort of helping is really power-tripping. Now this distinction can be very subtle here, and sometimes you don't even know you are power-tripping. You really believe you are simply doing your best to help another... yet be careful that you are not simply seeking to create your own self-worth. For to the extent that you allow other persons to make you responsible for them, to that extent you have allowed them to make you powerful. And that, of course, makes you feel worthy.
Yet this kind of help is an aphrodisiac which seduces the weak.
The goal is to help the weak grow strong, not to let the weak become weaker."
-quoted :o
[When is it disempowering to offer help? When does it work against, rather than for, another's growth?
When your help is offered in such a way that it creates continued dependence, rather than rapid independence.
When you allow another, in the name of compassion, to begin to rely on you rather than rely on themselves. That is not compassion, that is compulsion. You have a power compulsion. Because that sort of helping is really power-tripping. Now this distinction can be very subtle here, and sometimes you don't even know you are power-tripping. You really believe you are simply doing your best to help another... yet be careful that you are not simply seeking to create your own self-worth. For to the extent that you allow other persons to make you responsible for them, to that extent you have allowed them to make you powerful. And that, of course, makes you feel worthy.
Yet this kind of help is an aphrodisiac which seduces the weak.
The goal is to help the weak grow strong, not to let the weak become weaker."
-quoted :o
why. feel. bad.
I've been feeling weird recently.. And i feel alone... I don't like feeling alone...
I don't want to accept this feeling.. ... I will see how for the next few days.. see whether this feeling will go away...
Actually.... I think i don't know the reason for me feeling bad... It may not be due to this thing which i termed as loneliness... ... I will find out :o
I don't want to accept this feeling.. ... I will see how for the next few days.. see whether this feeling will go away...
Actually.... I think i don't know the reason for me feeling bad... It may not be due to this thing which i termed as loneliness... ... I will find out :o
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