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When a relationship goes sour, we sometimes try to salvage it or attempt to "get things back to where it used to be". Some of our efforts may work to a degree, while others only succeeded in prolonging the final throes of something that is already terminally ill.
But how do we know if a relationship is worth fighting for? Will it do both parties more harm in the long run by mounting a protracted and misguided rescue operation?
Some points for consideration:
Is your partner still in love or still interested in pursuing the relationship? Sometimes when we lose a love, we tend to dwell on what used to be, not on what the relationship is currently about. Of course it was good in the beginning, but that stage of the relationship is not always an accurate measure. It is bes to look at what is currently happening and evaluate how or why the situation is the way it is. Are you in love with a memory? Are you clinging to the relationship because you are afraid of being alone?
No matter how hard it may be for you initially, if you do break up, the hurt wil go away There may be a lot of pain, resentment and jealousy right now; but if you are willing to move forward, it will pass. Ask yourself, "Do I really want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me?" Imagine what a mutually loving relationship with someone should feel like. Is it what you have now? If not, do you really want to stay and pass up the chance to find a more relevant love?
Are you staying in this relationship for reasons other than love? Some people, knowingly or unknowingly, stay in a relationship for the wong reasons, such as having a roof over their heads, having their bills paid, being afraid of being alone or other reasons. If this is you, you must realise that co-dependent relationships will not work. If you really want to lead a fulfilling life, take the steps to become self-sufficient.
Are you assuming what your partner is or is not feeling? Sometimes out "inner voices" tell us things that are not true. If a lot of the tension in your relationship is due to suspicion, speculation and second-guessing, try talking things through openly with your partner. Open communication is the only way to resolve these issues and is a necessary part of a loving relationship.
Once you have seriously considered the above, you should have a pretty good idea where your relationship is headed. Remember, the end of a relationship is not the end of life. If you are not happy and you are quite sure things are not going to work out, it is time to move forward.
Adapted from Slice of Life"
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