no no choice

 While I was out jogging, I had quite a bit of a reflection..

Assuming that we have objective to achieve (a want to fulfill), when we tell ourselves that "we have no choice but to do something" or that "there is no other way but this", we are placing ourselves in a state of helplessness. We are consciously placing limits on ourselves. We are actually telling ourselves that, we have to do this, instead of, we want to do it.

There is a difference between "want to" and "have to". I shall use this latest example that happened to me. My maid went back to her country for a few days and my mom asked me to help her with some of the food preparations for her "Rojak" business. I admit that I told myself that I had no choice to help her, as there were no other available people at home as my sister and brother were working. It was quite a tough 8 days as I kept getting irritated by the tasks that she gave me, as I wanted more time to slack at home or to go out. Come to think of it, I really wanted to help her, as I wanted to do something for her and for the family. If I were to ask myself at the start, whether I really wanted to help her, and I keep reminding myself that I want to, instead of saying that I have no choice but to do those tasks, I would have willingly done everything that she asked me to do.

It is still okay to say that you have no other choice, but there will be side effects. For example, when you burp, it is good to expend the excess gases out but it may be smelly, When the "no choice" card comes out, it is easier to be affected negatively.

To allow yourself to feel better when doing something, always ask yourself... Do you really want to do it?