Reflect 300512

I am going to try to make this a habit, as what my good friend David has been doing.

Today, I am grateful for

• my Mom who does not impose a lot of shoulds and shouldn'ts on me. Even if she did, I am grateful that she is not strong enough to force it onto me... haha..
• my good friend Terence who has high EQ skills and who is always able to make others feel comfortable.
• Terence's friend, Kenneth who was a good and funny company.
• Ivy who treated us to Korean food!!
• Edwin who treats me like his close friend, and who also tries to give me advice while trying not to get angry over the decisions i make.. haha..
• myself for being able to stand up even though my "legs" were weak..

 Next, I would want to

 

•  treat my mom better by giving her more attention each day.
• be a better friend to my good friends, by continuing to be true to them, and to take more initiative to be there for them
• keep on my path to be a better person, by continuing to do what i am doing now. Even results from physical training will take a few days to surface.. so results for the emotional state may take a while too..
• spend less time on distractions each day. e.g. surfing the net for random websites, re-reading manga, less slacking.

Smell actually has a very strong influence on me. Think it's going to take a few

 days for this smell to stop lingering in my brain... :/

running thoughts

Not knowing everything and being happy, versus, knowing more and not being happy... I would rather the latter.

I have been introduced to a lot of new ideas recently and some of them clashed with my old thoughts. ... I thought I am optimistic, but I was told that I am actually pessimistic... I thought I am quite positive, but I was told I am quite negative.. (These two seem to be the same.. haha.. ) ... I don't know who is right, but I do know I feel better back then. ...

But, I did tell myself before that I would like to see new perspectives. .. I will just process those new perspectives and keep which ever that works in allowing me to feel better.. *pat pat on my own shoulder*

no no choice

 While I was out jogging, I had quite a bit of a reflection..

Assuming that we have objective to achieve (a want to fulfill), when we tell ourselves that "we have no choice but to do something" or that "there is no other way but this", we are placing ourselves in a state of helplessness. We are consciously placing limits on ourselves. We are actually telling ourselves that, we have to do this, instead of, we want to do it.

There is a difference between "want to" and "have to". I shall use this latest example that happened to me. My maid went back to her country for a few days and my mom asked me to help her with some of the food preparations for her "Rojak" business. I admit that I told myself that I had no choice to help her, as there were no other available people at home as my sister and brother were working. It was quite a tough 8 days as I kept getting irritated by the tasks that she gave me, as I wanted more time to slack at home or to go out. Come to think of it, I really wanted to help her, as I wanted to do something for her and for the family. If I were to ask myself at the start, whether I really wanted to help her, and I keep reminding myself that I want to, instead of saying that I have no choice but to do those tasks, I would have willingly done everything that she asked me to do.

It is still okay to say that you have no other choice, but there will be side effects. For example, when you burp, it is good to expend the excess gases out but it may be smelly, When the "no choice" card comes out, it is easier to be affected negatively.

To allow yourself to feel better when doing something, always ask yourself... Do you really want to do it?