bad is bad, good is good

Why do i like to punish myself whenever I disappoint others or myself..?



To allow myself to feel better? ... Think I really believed in the adage of "the bad should be punished and the good shall be rewarded." ...

Feelings control

Why are we so afraid of feeling bad? ... Because of hurt? ... What is hurt? ...Why does hurt happen?

... Hurt happens when the things/people we are attached to, are gone or going to be gone. Hurt won't happen when you never allow yourself to get too attached.

... I think it is possible to numb bad feelings.. .. But I want to fully enjoy the full intensity of good feelings.. #dilemma

Light

I want to be the light for the people in my life. I want to be the warm, comfortable, soothing light. No doubt, shadows are cast when there is light, but as long as the light is shining from all angles, the shadows are minimized..

inferiority complex

Inferiority complex causes one to feel not as important, good or intelligent as others. In a more serious form, it causes one to feel lousy in every possible way. Just a simple decision can cause one to feel disappointed in oneself or that, one has disappointed others. It is just a lost cause for anyone or oneself who is trying to feel better.

To speed up the recovery, one can just be calm when "dropping". Just for that period of time, stop struggling and "fall", and accept that you are feeling sad. Keep away from your own thoughts and other people thoughts, and just "fall" peacefully. ( Falling just signifies that one is feeling low.) You can achieve this by occupying your mind with a healthy activity, e.g. going for a short jog, climbing the stairs, playing a game, etc. After not more than an hour, go back and face the issue again.

I tried it and it's true that I do not feel as sad or lousy. Although I made an issue out of something, I don't think I want to solve it now.  I don't know how to solve it. Sometimes, I just think it is evil to have a win-lose situation.... And at the same time, I do not know how to make it a win-win situation.

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How do I expect normalcy if I do keep creating abnormalities?

irritating me

 Just find it fascinating to look at other people's facial expressions recently...

I saw this at the supermarket just now.. Thought these chocolate games were quite interesting.. haha..

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I would like to be more calm when faced with issues that "push my buttons". I would like to listen to other people's point of views before offering mine, if necessary.

solo reflection

I realized that it all kinda works out as to why, most of the time, I do not behave like most people around me. From young, there were cases like, although I like to read comics, I would not start on "Slamdunk" or "Dragonball" even though they were super popular. I just gave myself the reason that I don't want to read it because a lot of people have read them or were reading them. About religion, I just didn't see the need to continue with my family's tradition with Buddhism. Although they were all practising it, apart from not seeing any need, I also did ask myself why I had to be like them. The same question came into my head tons of time as I was growing up. Sometimes, I may behave like the others, but a partial reason would be that I want to fit in.. Fitting in, means being accepted by others. But it is a bit difficult when you are not doing the same things which most people around you are doing.. haha..



Having an open mind means you are flexible to a lot of things and acceptable to a lot of new ideas and behavior (doing it is another matter though). I do believe that I am still like this now, which has resulted in me, not having a lot of fixed stands or opinions. Inside me, I do believe that there is nothing wrong with being like this. Most people believe that all of us have to be fixed in our viewpoints and beliefs though, and sometime I do get swayed and believe them.. But I will feel very awkward after a while, and I will slowly revert back to being open...



It is really okay to think, say and behave in whatever ways you want. But when something (e.g. job requirements, relationship beliefs, etc.) caused you to have a clash inside you, that is when you will start to feel bad, because there will be a contradiction between how you think, and how you behave and what you say. Things will only go on smoothly when your thoughts, words and actions are in line... 讲真的 :o

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Okay... enough of the reflections... Photo-sharing time~


wee~~


Such a cute cake!! The figurines are all edible and there's a level 30 flag which stands for the stage level.. Beri cute!!

Thought Vent

Love... Love can mean, sacrificing what you want to allow the other to have what he/she wants.
Love can also mean, being able to freely choose what you want, because this is when you can be yourself.
Which kind of love do you advocate? ....

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Pretending... While you are pretending, it just seems like you are looking at yourself behind a glass pane.. Sometimes wondering how you can be that person..

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.. Is love present when you just love the person for who he/she is? Or if you love him/her for the qualities that he/she has?

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:) I guess blogging does make me feel a bit better. Having all these thoughts in my head, with no one to say it to, is just... blehh.. :s Anyway, these are just some, not all of the thoughts that I remember thinking about.

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For this semester, my "tripartite" hasn't been very united.. So I have been feeling "muffled". When will I think, say and do the same thing consciously? ... I miss "myself-ed".